The September 2002 Meeting
Rick Marsh of Power Management Systems and Sales, Inc. gave an informative talk with members of SBE Chapter 48 and Rocky Mtn. SMPTE Section.
Meeting Host: Rick Marsh of Power Management
Many thanks to Rick Marsh and Colene Hageman of Power Management. Rick gave a very informative talk on various topics relating to power quality. As most of our broadcast facilities grow and change, so do our power concerns. It can be a challenge to find solutions for keeping up with these power needs.
After a brief introduction of the Power Management company, Rick dove right into common power problems relating to our industry and then discussed various solutions to those problems. It was interesting to hear how many External and Internal influences there are and how they can impact our power quality. For example, computers, laser printers, and HVAC Units can all affect us in different ways such as "cycling of inductive loads".
Rick then discussed several ways of managing these power issues. Some ways may require going above and beyond code. Protecting these important loads is another issue we all must face. Rick discussed various ways of protection including Transient Voltage Surge Suppression, Power Conditioning / Voltage Regulation, UPS Systems, and Backup Generators. Most of this boils down to Investment Justifications.
The meeting was most informative and very educational. Again, many thanks to Rick!
17th Annual Rocky Mountain Film and Video Expo Comes to Denver
The John Q. Hammons Convention Center at the Holiday Inn DIA once again hosted the RMFVE on October 2nd and 3rd. This year brought a number of new additions to the show, including 2 new associate sponsors, American Cinematographer Magazine; American Society of Cinematographers and A t & T Digital Media Centers in addition to long time sponsors Burst Communications, Ceavco Audio Visual and Film/Video Equipment Service Company, Inc.
The theme of this year's show was, "tHE sCIENCE oF tHE aRT". No, that's not a typo, that's how it appears on the program!
The program this year included 23 'short take' seminars covering a diverse range of topics including, "Documentary Filmmaking"; "Cinematographers are Storytellers"; "Light is Not All White, Right?"; "Filtration Frustration in the Digital Domain" and "Surround Sound for Media Pros". The exhibit floor was open both days and featured dozens of exhibitors showing their products and services.
You may notice that there are very few people in the accompanying photos. It should be noted they were taken prior to the opening of the exhibit floor on Tuesday, October 2 by your roving photographer! Think of them as 'scene setters'.
New SBE Officers and Board of Directors Elected
INDIANAPOLIS, IN - September 13, 2002 - Votes were tabulated yesterday for the 2002 election of Officers and Board of Directors of the Society of Broadcast Engineers (SBE). Troy Pennington, CSRE, CBNT, veteran broadcast engineer with WZZK-FM, WODL-FM and WBPT-FM in Birmingham, AL has been re-elected President. Pennington's career in broadcast engineering spans more than 35 years. He has previously served the Society at the national level as a member of the Board from 1991 through 1999, serving as a Director, Treasurer and Vice President. He is a Senior Member of SBE and is certified at the Senior Radio Engineer level and also as a Certified Broadcast Networking Technologist. Pennington currently serves as a member of the SBE Certification Committee and is a long-time member of Chapter 68 in Birmingham, having twice served as its chairman. He is co- chair of the Alabama Emergency Communications Committee and a member of the President's National Advisory Council to the National Emergency Alert System.
Pennington is active in his community, serving on numerous boards and in leadership positions. He holds a BS Degree from the University of Alabama- Birmingham and is a Marine Corps veteran, with service in Vietnam. As SBE President, Pennington will lead the 5,300 plus member national organization for the coming year and will chair its Board of Directors. The Board is responsible for Society governance and determines the policies and programs for the organization. As SBE President, Pennington is chief spokesman for the Society and represents SBE before other organizations and government agencies.
Other officers elected to one-year terms include:
Vice President - Raymond C. Benedict, CPBE, Director Spectrum Management, Viacom, Inc., Washington, D.C.
Secretary - Sam Garfield, CPBE, Vice President, Technical Broadcast Consultants, Raleigh, NC
Treasurer - John Batson, CPBE, Regional Engineering Manager, Sinclair Broadcast Group, Birmingham, AL
The following members were elected to two-year terms on the national Board of Directors:
Ted D, Hand, CPBE, Director of Engineering, WTKR-TV, Norfolk, VA
Mark D. Humphrey, CPBE, Chief Engineer, WPLY-FM/Radio One, Media, PA
Keith M. Kintner, CPBE, Assistant Director of Technology, WILL AM-FM-TV, Urbana, IL
Vincent A. Lopez, CEV, CBNT, Systems Technician, WSYT/WNYS-TV, Syracuse, NY
Thomas R. Ray, III, CSRE, Corporate Director of Engineering, Buckley Broadcasting/WOR Radio, New York, NY
Barry L. Thomas, CPBE, CBNT, President, Thomas Media Systems & Design, Hollywood, CA.
Those elected will join six other members of the Board who will begin the second year of their two-year terms. They include:
Ralph Beaver, CBT, President and COO of Media Alert, Inc., Tampa, FL
William F. Denne, CPBE, Account Manager, TV Industry, Tektronix, Ormond Beach, FL
Donald B. Driskell, CSTE, CBNT, Technical Services Supervisor, Mississippi Educational Television, Jackson, MS
Clay Freinwald, CPBE, Senior Facilities Engineer, Entercom, Seattle, WA
Robert "R.J." Russell, CBTE, Manager, Technical Services, DIRECTTV- Los Angeles Broadcast Center, Los Angeles, CA
Conrad Trautmann, III, CSRE, Senior Vice President of Engineering, Westwood One, New York, NY
James "Andy " Butler, CPBE, Alexandria, VA will continue to serve on the Board as Immediate Past President. Butler is Senior Director of Engineering for PBS.
The newly elected Officers and Directors will be inducted on Thursday, October 17 during the SBE Annual Membership Meeting in Phoenix, AZ. The meeting is part of the SBE National Meeting, held in conjunction with the SBE Chapter 9 Regional Convention.
Certificaton Exam Session Dates Announced For 2003
The SBE National Certification Committee has announced exam session dates for 2002-03. Check the list below for the exam period that is best for you. For more information about SBE Certification, contact Chapter Certification Chair Fred Baumgartner baumgartner.fred.m@broadband. att.com, or contact Linda Godby, Certification Director at the SBE National Office at (317) 846-9000 or LGodby@sbe.org.
Don't Unwittingly Rebroadcast EAS Tones
News From The CGC Communicator
Mark Manuelian KE1AR, Chief Engineer of WBZ in Boston, reports that a Boston station - doing a broadcast news report on the AMBER alert - used a recording of an actual EAS alert previously broadcast in another market.
Please remind all station engineers, managers and newsroom personnel (again) that rebroadcasting an EAS alert as part of a news report is illegal.
It's FCC Rule 11.45 entitled, Prohibition of false or deceptive EAS transmissions: "No person may transmit or cause to transmit the EAS codes or Attention Signal, or a recording or simulation thereof, in any circumstance other than in an actual National, State or Local Area emergency or authorized test of the EAS." Broadcast station licensees should also refer to Sec. 73.1217 of this chapter."
Fluke Meter Recall
Fluke Corporation has issued a recall of their Model 175, 177 and 179 digital multimeters due to a potentially unsafe performance characteristic. When using early-version DMMs in this series, it is possible when measuring AC voltages in excess of 500 volts that the meter will take an abnormally long time (6 to 18 seconds) to register a reading, thereby leading the meter operator to believe that there is no voltage present.
If your Fluke DMM is serial number 79000000 or below, it is affected by the recall. Units with serial number 79000001 and above are not affected.
You may arrange to return your meter to Fluke by visiting the Fluke Web site at www.fluke.com/170recall or calling Fluke toll-free at 1-800-260-4819 (Monday through Friday between 5:00 a.m. and 4:00 p.m. Pacific Time.)
More information on the recall can be seen on the Fluke Web site at http://www.fluke.com/rma/170_notice.asp?locale=usen®ion=r4.
Measuring RF Coverage Of Multiple Signals
From Z Technology 's RF Newsletter - DTV Edition
Everybody knows how to measure strength. Just hook an antenna to your field strength meter and take the measurement, right? Well, almost. There are several things to consider, so you will know how to interpret your measurement, and several things we can do to make measurements easier and more reliable.
First we must know how each item of equipment contributes to the measurement. Second, we must take that all into account and write down the correct answer. In dBuV/m. But antennas perform differently at different frequencies. And Field Strength Meters measure power, not field intensity. And cables have losses that increase as the frequency goes higher.
Happily, your calibrated measurement antenna comes with manufacturer's instructions on how to set it up (adjust the element length), and a table of antenna correction factors for the range of frequencies it was designed to cover. These correction factors are generated for your specific antenna, so don't use them for any other antenna, even if it looks the same. The measurement feed line will also be calibrated, so keep the serial numbered calibration table with its serial numbered cable.
You can take measurements manually, and sometimes that is appropriate, but that will severely limit the number of measurement points in your survey. The trend, today, is to automate the measurement process, and let the hardware record and plot actual field intensity as you drive throughout your coverage area. Since the system must be completely automated, requiring no attention at all from the measurement vehicle's driver, it might as well measure your NTSC signal, your DTV signal, your FM station's signal, and even a few of your competition's signals as well.
What we want to talk about in this edition of the DTV Newsletter is the equipment setup for automatically taking and recording field intensity measurements for multiple stations.
Measurement cables and antennas are factory calibrated and shipped with a correction factor table. These factors are used by the controlling laptop PC to calculate Field Intensity in dBuV/m. But how do you measure two different frequencies with a single antenna length adjustment? And how do you account for the filters and combiners required to isolate and match two antennas to the Field Strength Meter input? Really not that hard, since you have all the tools, traceable to the National Institute of Standards and Technology, in your measurement system.
A setup for multiple frequency signal measurements can be described as looking something like this:
A range calibrated UHF dipole antenna would be used for UHF channels, and a VHF dipole for FM and VHF TV frequencies. The high and low pass filters prevent power from the unwanted antenna from reaching the meter and provides isolation between the antennas. The power combiner provides a reliable 50-ohm match from the antenna receiving power, through to the field strength meter.
When there is only a single frequency being measured with each dipole antenna, that antenna will be adjusted to the correct length and the Antenna Correction Factor can be taken directly from the calibration table. When a single antenna must measure two different frequencies, its length should be adjusted for one of the two frequencies. A revised antenna factor can be found for the frequency with the incorrect dipole length by adding the difference in the calibrated Field Intensity Meter reading between the correct length and the actual length (for the other frequency) at which automatic measurements will be taken. These correction factors for each frequency are entered into the Windows™ PC DriveTest application (from the Antenna Correction Factor table supplied by the manufacturer for the correct length frequency, a revised antenna factor for the frequency with the incorrect antenna length).
The antenna factors, cable losses, filter losses, and combiner losses all go into the antenna correction factors in the Job File when setting up the PC application. The Windows™ DriveTest application can then calculate, display, record, and map field strength directly in dBuV/m.
By carefully considering all of the factors involved in NIST traceable field intensity measurements, you can be sure your measurement setup is measuring the signal that is really there. Modern Windows™ based DriveTest applications can make the gathering and processing of thousands of data points, from multiple signal sources, both simple and reliable.
Question of the day...
Have you found a TV set sales clerk that can tell a customer how to display the over-the-air digital signal from your station on his NTSC television set?
Featuring News, Rumors and Views
It's transition time again-the time of year when we have to the face the fact that summer, our shortest season, is about to come to an end and we can look forward to cooler weather, more rain and less grass to mow!
This summer has been filled with work for me. The main project has been all the tower work at West Tiger Mountain. The severe winters we have up there have taken their toll-as the galvanized steel fence posts on the chain link fence around the base of the tower demonstrate. The south side is rusty while the north side is bright zinc. The same thing has been taking place on the tower: the winter winds and precip have been eroding the galvanizing right off the steel. Time for heavy duty paint. Ron and Michaeline Smith have been performing the required structural repairs. (They have been living in Hawaii recently… nice to have them back.) Next comes the painters who will be applying what's called a 'moisture cured poly-urethane paint'… the same stuff that's on the Space Needle and the Narrows Bridge (different color however).
Speaking of DT… Wow! Did the FCC come through or not? Reminding us a lot of the 'all-channel' rule a while back… the Commish looked at the progress of DTV and noted that it looked a lot like the plight of UHF TV a few years ago. So they, rightfully, exercised their authority and set up requirements for set makers to incorporate DT tuners. They also made it clear that their sights are now on Cable. It's pretty clear that there are times in our society that the 'marketplace' needs a little nudge. The set makers are crying (just like they did with the UHF tuner rule) and there is a lot of saber rattling. Many are citing the fact that the percentage of folks that actually watch 'over the air' TV is under 20% (I guess the other 80% are on cable or satellite). Perhaps someone at the FCC has been reading this column where I have bemoaned the fact that some large national electronics providers have given me a long line of excuses when I have visited their stores and asked to see 'over the air DTV.' Congrats to the FCC for having guts.
On the subject of the FCC: In my July column I wrote about the FCC going after pirate broadcasters. As a result I was reminded that the Waveguide (and this column) are not read just by broadcasters in the conventional sense.
The chapter received a response to my column in the form of a very pointed email from a party that obviously feels WE are on the wrong side of this issue. With that in mind…. The position taken by many that are opposed to the FCC's policies on radio broadcasting would have the FCC get out of enforcement and licensing and throw open the radio spectrum to anyone that wanted to broadcast.
If you seriously look at this you can see that this goal might backfire. If this were the case we would still find that those with the most money would win. Those with the bucks would shortly get together and carve up the radio spectrum and then install mondo kilowatt systems on every channel while the 'little guy' would be forced out.
The only way I can see that the folks that advocate small market/capital broadcasting would have a chance would be for some sort of regulation that would forbid ownerships with money from owning radio stations. If you zoom out and look at the big picture what you see here is a simple case of 'sour grapes' from the have-nots. Broadcast spectrum is like a lot of things in life with FINITE resources. There is just 'so-much' spectrum and when it's gone… it's gone. Those that get there first get it… those that get there last… do not. (The same thing will one day be said of petroleum.)
Our society is not based on the premise that the owner of the buildings at 5th and Pike should tear them down just because someone-NOW-wants to grow a garden there. I feel sorry for those that want to operate a radio station and cannot do so due to the fact that it requires money, and lots of it, to do so… but this is the way our country works… like it or not. Perhaps these folks should try another country and see if their ideas are more compatible with the structures in place… then again there is always Congress if they want the rules to be changed. I am not in favor of marching down I-5 or sitting on the freeway downtown to express my feelings… nor am I in favor of breaking rules or laws just because I don't like them. Call me old fashioned.
IBOC, the digital radio system, got a test recently at Entercom's Cougar Mountain facility. After attending all the IBOC related programs I could get in at last April's NAB in Vegas, I was left to wonder just how we were going to handle this with a combined site. Thanks to some good techno-talk with Jim Kemman and others at ERI and Bob Surette of Shively it became clear that there was an idea that needed testing. I was able to convince Marty Hadfield that the method had merit. Shortly afterward Ibiquity, BE and Shively were making plans to test the theory at Cougar.
Thanks to the fact that this site has an 8-station combiner and is used for standby/auxiliary use, it was a natural. Bottom line… it works just fine! (Call me if you want the details.) Ibiquity did drive-around tests to see just how the D compared to the A, and one of their crew was heard to say what we have all known for a long time: in terms of interference to propagation from topography, Seattle IS worse than San Francisco. Have you ever noticed that these systems are tested in two locations: New York City (for their legendary tall buildings and RF canyons) and San Francisco (due to its reputation for being bad for RF)? With NAB Radio in town, the plans are to have at least three stations in our area running the Ibiquity system: the Infinity FM on 106.1, Entercom's 99.9 and Sandusky's 880-AM.
Fisher has announced that they are selling their two TV stations in Georgia: WFXG in Augusta and WXTX in Columbus. They are also selling land on the Southwest side of Lake Union here in Seattle.
Not often do you hear about the selling of a NON-COMMERCIAL Radio Station. It's happening in Tacoma where KBTC-FM (for years KTOY) is being sold. Unlike most sales, this will be to another Non-Com organization, Public Radio Capital. At one time Clover Park and the Tacoma School District operated their own vocational schools (the Tacoma operation was renamed Bates). A few years back these were all taken over by the state. This meant that CP with their 90.9 FM and School was operating a program very similar to the Bates Station on 91.7. Now the state was operating two radio stations and two radio training programs within a few miles of each other. This change will consolidate the radio program at the Clover Park campus in Lakewood. The 91.7 transmitter (at Indian Hill) will, in time, likely be operated by a different organization with different programming. Guess we will have to wait and see how this plays out.
A company called Space Data Corp is working on a plan that will use NOAA's weather balloons as a platform for wireless operations in rural areas. A recent AP story on this was interesting, especially in light of the fact that Hams have been sending repeaters aloft for years. The use of the NOAA craft is unique, however. I have to think that somewhere there has been an Amateur transmitter going along for the ride. NOAA sends up 70 balloons every day. They estimate that the electronics package would cost about $300 and would provide coverage up to 150 square miles.
My mother lives in Durango, Colorado, the scene of a recent large forest fire. To make sure that her son has the latest information… I have received several packages from 'mom' packed with sections from the Durango newspaper. One article caught my attention, how the fire impacted a mountaintop electronics site and the broadcast equipment located there. Can you imagine what would happen should we have a major fire at Cougar or West Tiger mountains? In Durango the city was getting together to pray for rain. Something that we are not likely to have to face here, thankfully. I will be visiting Durango in October.
Looks like the parent of ABC (Disney) is not happy about the performance of their network. According to published reports, less than 6% of US households with TV sets were watching ABC during prime time this last year.
From the 'here we go again' department.... A recent study suggests an association between certain cancers and exposure to NIER. This is based on a study of those that live near Vatican Radio. As if the Catholic Church needed more to think about. You can find the details in the publications of the American Journal of Epidemiology.
On the road again.... I have accepted an invitation to travel to Tampa, Florida, to speak on EAS on September 19th. This will be the furthest I have traveled to explain how to make EAS really work. My last trip for EAS was to Boise, Idaho, where I spoke to the SBE Chapter there… also got a quick trip up to Deer Point, which is the main FM and TV site for Boise. Looking down on Boise from 7200 feet is interesting. To put this into focus… imagine if Cougar was about 5000 feet in elevation. Quite a climate change I will tell you. About 20 or more degrees cooler up there.
In the event you get this column in time… The Radio Club of Tacoma will be holding their annual flea market at the Pierce County Fairgrounds in Graham on Saturday, Sep. 14th.
I did not hear from anyone suggesting a 'really good' location to display Paul Crittenden's Hallicrafters TV Set. My thought was that this would look really good in the lobby of a TV station. If you have a thought, let me know. Thanks to David Frank for some background on this item. He told me how he found this old set in the basement of 11's old transmitter site near Olalla and thought that it would look nice in Paul's office. David cleaned up the cabinet and Paul had it in his office until he retired.
The other day my wife and I were at the local H.D. and found a lamp that she wanted for her desk at home. Looked like a bargain to me… so home it went… this is when the adventure began. For some odd reason I read the instructions… let me quote for you the statement that preceded the step by step section:
"NOTE : Please consult a qualified electrician if you are not certain of the installation."
"CAUTION: Before starting the installation, disconnect the power by turning off the circuit breaker or removing the fuse from the fuse box."
I guess I was a very bad person… I did not turn off the breaker… I screwed in a lamp… and plugged it in and it works fine.
That's it for this month.
Clay Freinwald, K7CR, CPBE
News From Chapter 3, Wichita
Marty Heffner sends this tidbit: NIST is surveying listeners/users of WWV to see how they can improve the service. Here are my own TOP 10 suggestions for "hyping" WWV:
10. Buy the rights to "bee-doop" from old Mutual network.
9. New Station ID "WWV, Fort collins-DENVER!"
8. New Slogan "Give us 22 minutes-we'll give YOU 22 minutes!"
7. Hire "Perfect Paul" away from NWS to do side-splitting morning show.
6. Have music director expand playlist to include "Theme from 60 Minutes".
5. Do station promo poking fun at Canadians on CHU.
4. Drive time slogan "Propagation and Solar Weather Together on the 15's".
3. LIVE Solar Flare Remote from surface of the Sun!
2. Hire low paid female sidekick for announcer who laughs hysterically every time he gives the time.
.... And the #1 Promotional Idea for WWV
1. "9th Caller wins an Atomic Clock!".
Bruce W Bradley, Cox Communications MTC/Headend Technician in Wichita writes re: new IPv6 scheme: I believe in the last SBE newsletter a reference was made to the new IPv6 internet address scheme. It gave a number referring to the total number of address expressed in undecillion. This is pretty hard to conceive for the average person and most scientific calculators can't express it either. I came across the following excerpt and thought it might allow people to "visualize" the number more easily. This was taken from an article written by Jim Thompson for isp-planet.com web site. " IPv6 expands addresses from 32-bit under IPv4 to 128-bit. The result is that the number of available IP addresses would leap from the current 4.2 billion to 340 trillion trillion trillion - the equivalent of 67 billion addresses per square centimeter of the earth." I think a reference in the previous SBE newsletter said an IP address for every grain of sand on the earth plus. Given the above statement I think that is slightly underestimating.
In radio news, Wichita lost its only all-sports station, KQAM, 1480-AM, in July after it was sold to ABC Radio, which converted the format to a pre-teeny bopper Disney station. Former listeners take it as a slap in the face when they instinctively dial up 1480 only to hear "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" instead of Jim Rome. Wichita has an urbanized area with a population of about 450,000. KSU football, KU basketball and Wichita State baseball are successful programs on a national stage. The city is in the middle of the Big 12, a power in NCAA sports. The Chiefs and Royals are right up the road. Many think that should be enough ingredients for an all-sports radio station.
In December, K-State awarded the rights to its sports radio network to Wichita- based Mid-America Network in a five-year, $6-million deal. But WIBW claimed a clause, written in 1969 for a share-time agreement with campus station KKSU, gave it the right to produce its own independent football broadcasts. Stutzman agreed initially, issuing a temporary injunction in April that forced KSU to allow a WIBW broadcast. KSU officials asked him to reverse that decision, claiming the WIBW broadcast would cripple the school's opportunity to profit from the sports radio network. The ruling for a permanent injunction means KSU cannot grant an exclusive contract and will lose anticipated revenue.
Hoping to jump-start a long-stalled transition to clearer and sharper images, on August 8th, the FCC by a 3-1 vote, ordered television makers to ensure that by 2007 virtually all television sets sold in the United States can pick up a digital signal. The order required digital tuners in all new sets 36 inches and larger starting in July 2004, and would extend in phases by 2007 to new sets between 13 and 36 inches, with only the smallest sets exempted.
A Washington lobbying group for television makers vowed legal action to overturn the move, calling it a $7 billion "TV tax." The Consumer Electronics Association said the move amounted to socking consumers with a price increase -- some say $250 a set, though others say that figure is far too high -- for a feature that 85 percent may never use.
The FCC move does not directly promote the growth of HDTV-capable sets, but does apply to access of standard "over the air" television signals broadcast in a digital format rather than analog, with roughly the same quality improvement as compact discs over phonograph records or DVDs over videotapes.
FCC chairman Michael K. Powell said the $250-a-set increase estimate was wildly overstated. He portrayed the digital television-set move as one step toward breaking a chicken-and-egg impasse that has slowed the development of digital television. Broadcasters have been reluctant to pour millions into offering more digital broadcasts because so few consumers can pick up the signals, but television set makers have been reluctant to promote costlier digital television sets because there is so little digital content for buyers to watch.
The YXZ Report
By Kent Randles K7YXZ CBRE
LAST MONTH'S MEETING
THIS WILL WARM YOUR HEART:
The Federal Communications Commission issued a record fine of over five million dollars against a company for sending junk faxes to businesses and consumers. The August 7th fine against fax.com of Aliso Viejo, California is the largest ever by the commission for violations of the Telephone Consumer Protection Act. It is also the first against a company known as a fax broadcaster.
According to an FCC release, fax.com was paid to send unsolicited advertisements and other messages on behalf of more than 100 businesses. And FCC Commissioner Kathleen Q. Abernathy says that despite repeated warnings from the commission and numerous consumer complaints, fax.com appears to have made no effort to mend its ways.
Commissioner Abernathy added that the company appears to have founded its business on the practice of sending unsolicited faxes in flagrant violation of that law. This has resulted in the fax.com being cited for close to 500 violations at about $11,000 per violation. That's the maximum penalty and it adds up to $5.4 million due to Uncle Sam.
But a lawyer representing fax.com has another opinion. Attorney Mary Ann Wymore says that the company feels the rules on unsolicited advertising are an unconstitutional restriction of her clients freedom of speech. And Wymore indicates that fax.com is going to challenge it in the federal courts.
fax.com has been given only the customary 30 days to pay the fine or file an appeal. The FCC is also issuing citations to more than 100 businesses that used the services provided by fax.com. (Adapted from FCC release and published news reports)
Subject: Out Of The Mouth Of Babes
A teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their vacation. One child wrote the following:
"We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to live here in a big, brick house, but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Florida and now they live in a place with a lot of other retarded people. They live in a tin box and have rocks painted green to look like grass. They ride around on big tricycles and wear name tags because they don't know who they are anymore.
They go to a building called a wrecked center, but they must have got it fixed because it is all right now. They play games and do exercises there, but they don't do them very well. There is a swimming pool too, but they all jump up and down in it with their hats on. I guess they don't know how to swim.
At their gate there is a dollhouse with a little old man sitting in it. He watches all day so nobody can escape. Sometimes they sneak out. Then they go cruising in their golf carts.
My grandma used to bake cookies and stuff, but I guess she forgot how. Nobody there cooks, they just eat out. And they eat the same thing every night: Early Birds. Some of the people can't get past the man in the dollhouse to go out, so the ones who get out bring food back to the wrecked center and call it pot luck.
My Grandma says Grandpa worked all his life to earn his retardment and says I should work hard so I can be retarded one day, too. When I earn my retardment I want to be the man in the doll house. Then I will let people out so they can visit their grandchildren."
Subject: Some Useless Facts!!
These are cute
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.)
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Do not try this at home...... maybe at work.)
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people. (If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump. (OK, so that would be a good thing....)
Polar bears are left-handed. (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)
Garneth M. Harris
Newsletter archives are available
Views expressed herein do not necessarily reflect the official positions of the Societies, its officers, or its members. We regret, but are not liable for, any omissions or errors. The Denver SBE and SMPTE Newsletter is published approximately twelve times per year. It is prepared with a combination of text and graphic data. Submission deadline is 10 days before the last day of each month. Other SBE or SMPTE chapters are permitted to use excerpts if attributed to the original authors, sources, and/or the Denver SBE/SMPTE Newsletter.